Club 99

Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content. One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he worked. This fascinated the King; why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while a lowly servant had so much joy. The King asked the servant, 'Why are you so happy?' The man replied, 'Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but my family and I don't need too much - just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies.'

The king was not satisfied with that reply. Later in the day, he sought the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the King's woes and the servant's story, the advisor said, 'Your Majesty, I believe that the servant Has not been made part of The 99 Club.''The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?' the King inquired. The advisor replied, 'Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is, place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep.'

When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy... So many gold coins! He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were 99 coins. He wondered, 'What could've happened to that last gold coin? Surely, no one would leave 99 coins!' He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive. Finally, exhausted he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to earn that gold coin and complete his collection.

From that day, the servant's life was changed. He was overworked, horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. He stopped singing while he worked. Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. When he sought his advisor's help, the advisor said, 'Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club.'

He continued, 'The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have enough to be happy but are never contented, because they're always yearning and Striving for that extra 1, saying to themselves: 'Let me get that one final thing and then I will be happy for life.' We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute we're given something bigger and better, we want even more! We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us; all these as a price for our growing needs and desires. That's the "Club 99" 

Happiness depends on ourselves

Jerry is a manager of a restaurant. He is always in a good mood. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

Many of the waiters at his restaurant used to quit their jobs when Jerry changed jobs, so that they could follow him around from restaurant to restaurant.

Why?

Because Jerry was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was always there, telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! No one can be a positive person all the time. How do you do it?"

Jerry replied,

"Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two choices today. I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood. I always choose to be in a good mood.

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be victim or I can choose to learn from it. I always choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I always choose the positive side of life."

"But it's not always that easy," I protested.

"Yes, it is." Jerry said.

"Life is all about choices.

When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice.

You choose how you react to situations.

You choose how people will affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or a bad mood.

It's your choice how you live your life."

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something that you are never expected to do in a restaurant business. He left the back door of his restaurant open. And then?

In the morning, he was robbed by three armed men. They forced Jerry to open the safe box. While Jerry was trying to open it, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped of the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him.

Luckily, Jerry was found quickly and rushed to the hospital.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body!

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I would be twins! Want to see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds but did ask him what was going through his mind as the robbery took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied.

"Then after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared?" I asked.

Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me that I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'He's a dead man.' And I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked me if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I'm choosing to live. Please operate on me as if I'm alive, and not dead'."

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. 

I learned from him that:

Everyday you have a choice to either enjoy your day or to hate it.

The only thing that is truly yours- that no one can control or take from you- is your attitude. So if you can take care of that, everything in life becomes much easier.

Now you've two choices to make:

1. You can just read and forget this story

2. You can share it with someone you care about

I hope you'll chose #2. 

Happiness is a choice

A man of 92 years, short, very well-presented, who takes great care in his appearance, is moving into an old people's home today. After waiting several hours in the retirement home lobby, he gently smiles as he is told that his room is ready. His wife of 80 has recently died, and he is obliged to leave his home. As he slowly walks to the elevator, using his cane, I describe his small room to him, including the sheet hung at the window which serves as a curtain.

"I like it very much", he says, with the enthusiasm of an 8 year old boy who has just been given a new puppy. 

"You haven't even seen the room yet, hang on a moment, we are almost there." 

"That has nothing to do with it ", he replies.

"It is already decided in my mind that I like my room. It is a decision I take every morning when I wake up."

"Happiness is something I choose in advance. Whether or not I like the room does not depend on the furniture, or the decor rather it depends on how I decide to see it."

"I can choose. I can spend my day in bed enumerating all the difficulties that I have with the parts of my body that no longer work very well, or I can get up and give thanks to heaven for those parts that are still in working order."

"Every day is a gift, and as long as I can open my eyes, I will focus on the new day, and all the happy memories that I have built up during my life."

"Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw in later life what you have deposited along the way."

So, my advice to you is to deposit all the happiness you can in your bank account of memories.

Thank you for your part in filling my account with happy memories, which I am still continuing to fill.

Remember these simple guidelines for happiness.

1. Free your heart from hate.
2. Free your mind from worry.
3. Live simple.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Happiness is in sharing

Here is an interesting story on two seas with some interesting lessons. I had heard of Dead Sea in school. No one ever told me this side of the story. You may find it interesting.

A tale of Two Seas 

Sitting in the Geography class in school, I remember how fascinated I was when we were being taught all about the Dead Sea. As you probably recall, the Dead Sea is really a Lake, not a sea (and as my Geography teacher pointed out, if you understood that, it would guarantee 4 marks in the term paper!) It’s so high in salt content that the human body can float easily. You can almost lie down and read a book! The salt in the Dead Sea is as high as 35% - almost 10 times the normal ocean water. And all that saltiness has meant that there is no life at all in the Dead Sea. No fish. No vegetation. No sea animals. Nothing lives in the Dead Sea.

And hence the name: Dead Sea.

While the Dead Sea has remained etched in my memory, I don't seem to recall learning about the Sea of Galilee in my school Geography lesson. So when I heard about the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea and the tale of the two seas - I was intrigued.

Turns out that the Sea of Galilee is just north of the Dead Sea. Both the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea receive their water from river Jordan. And yet, they are very, very different.

Unlike the Dead Sea, the Sea of Galilee is pretty, resplendent with rich, colorful marine life. There are lots of plants. And lots of fish too. In fact, the Sea of Galilee is home to over twenty different types of fishes.

Same region, same source of water, and yet while one sea is full of life, the other is dead. How come?

Here’s apparently why. The River Jordan flows into the Sea of Galilee and then flows out. The water simply passes through the Sea of Galilee in and then out - and that keeps the sea healthy and vibrant, teeming with marine life.

But the Dead Sea is so far below the mean sea level, that it has no outlet. The water flows in from the river Jordan, but does not flow out. There are no outlet streams. It is estimated that over 7 million tons of water evaporate from the Dead Sea every day. Leaving it salty. Too full of minerals. And unfit for any marine life.

The Dead Sea takes water from the River Jordan, and holds it. It does not give.

Result? No life at all.

Think about it.

Life is not just about getting. Its about giving. We all need to be a bit like the Sea of Galilee.

We are fortunate to get wealth, knowledge, love and respect. But if we don't learn to give, we could all end up like the Dead Sea. The love and the respect, the wealth and the knowledge could all evaporate. Like the water in the Dead Sea.

If we get the Dead Sea mentality of merely taking in more water, more money, more everything the results can be disastrous.

Good idea to make sure that in the sea of your own life, you have outlets. Many outlets. For love and wealth - and everything else that you get in your life. Make sure you don't just get, you give too.

Open the taps. And you'll open the floodgates to happiness. Make that a habit. To share. To give.

Balloons sharing happiness

Once, a group of 500 people were attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity.

He started giving each person a balloon. Each person was then asked to write their name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room. The people were then let into that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written on it within 5 minutes.

Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos. At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon.

Then, the speaker asked each person to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it. Within minutes everyone had their own balloon. 

The speaker then began, "This is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is. Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness; you will get your own happiness."

Happiness is the only thing that multiplies when you share it.

Reaction vs Response

A beautiful speech by Sundar Pichai - an IIT-MIT Alumnus and Global Head Google Chrome:

The cockroach theory for self development👍
   
At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and  sat on a lady.

She started screaming out of fear.

With a panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.

Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky.

The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but ...it landed on another lady in the group.

Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.

The waiter rushed forward to their rescue.

In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter.

The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt.

When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior?

If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed?

He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.

It is not the cockroach, but the inability of those people to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach, that disturbed the ladies.

The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded.

I realized that, it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it's my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.

It's not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.

More than the problem, it's my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life.

Lessons learnt from the story:

Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well thought of.

Reactions are automatic while the responses are calculated.

Reactions come from the heart (riding spontaneous emotions) while responses come from the mind (keeping in mind the 'correctness' of behaviour).

Thus reaction (which is more often than not a retaliation) is considered the root cause of most of our relationship issues, while a response is considered acting with responsibility.

Reactions take a toll on relationships and leaves one feeling guilty. On the other side responses keep relationships going smoothly and yet makes one feel smug. This kind of responsive behaviour helps us keep peace in our outer world however there is something simmering within.

The main reason why this happens is because reations are biological process, connected with the release of certain hormones. When we react we use up these hormones and help our body achieve homeostasis.

On the other hand responses mask our spontaneity and vulnerability and help us project ourselves as 'in control'. While we choose strategies to cover our reactions, the reactions are there nonetheless; albeit swept under the carpet of 'correct' response.

Hence all our unresolved, unexpressed, suppressed, denied emotional reactions lie within to seek expression one way or the other, usually in diseases and chronic pain.

The best way to handle them is to be aware of thier presence and vent them out through creative work or positively discussing about them. This is an ongoing process which calms our mind and eventually helps us reach an equilibrium where we no longer need to mask our reactions with a response.

Till then remember we should not react in life. We should always respond.

Happiness is an inside job

After years of hard & dedicated service to his Company, Rahul was being appointed at  an elegant reception as the new Director.

It was a small function where his wife Anita, a Home Executive & some of the wives of the other persons in top management were also present.

In an adjacent room, Ann, the wife of the CEO of the Company, asked Rahul's wife a very odd & usual question; "Does your  husband make you  happy?"

The husband, Rahul, who at that moment was not at her side, but was sufficiently near to hear the question, paid attention to the conversation, sitting up slightly, feeling secure, even filling his chest lightly in pride & hope, as Anita would definitely not publically lower or degrade her husband, would answer affirmatively, since she had always been there for him during their marriage and generally in life.

Nevertheless, to both his & the others' surprise, she replied simply; "No, no he doesn't make me happy…"

The room became uncomfortably silent, as if everyone were listening to the spouse's response. There was a sudden coldness in the air. The husband was petrified. A frown appeared on his face. He couldn't believe what his wife was saying, especially at such an important occasion for him.

To the amazement of her husband & of everyone!

Anita sat up firmly & explained in a modest but stern tone to the other wives who were present;
"No, he doesn't make me happy… I AM HAPPY. The fact that I am happy or not doesn't depend on him, but on me. GOD has granted each of us intellect & discretion to reason, interpret & decide. GOD made me the person upon which my happiness depends.
I make the choice to be happy in each situation & in each moment of my life.

If my happiness were to depend on other people, on other things or circumstances on the face of this earth, I would be in serious trouble!

Over my life I have learned a couple of things: I decide to be happy & the rest is a matter of 'experiences or circumstances' like helping, understanding, accepting, listening, consoling & with my spouse, I have lived & practiced this many times. Honestly true happiness lies in being content"

Relieved & reassured, a smile was clearly noticed on Rahul's face.

Happiness will always be found in contentment, forgiveness & in loving ourselves & others.
To truly love is difficult, it is to forgive unconditionally, to live, to take the "experiences or  circumstances" as they are, facing them together & being happy with conviction.

There are those who say I cannot be happy  :
· Because I am sick.
· Because I have no money.
· Because it's too cold.
· Because they insulted me.
· Because someone stopped loving me.
· Because someone didn't appreciate me.

But what they don't know is that they can be happy even though sick, whether it is too hot, whether they have money or not, whether someone has insulted them, or someone didn't love or hasn't valued them.

Being Happy is an attitude about life & each one of us must decide!

Being Happy, depends on us!

It Depends on Me.

Meaning of happiness



This story is about a beautiful, expensively dressed lady who complained to her psychiatrist that she felt that her whole life was empty, it had no meaning.

So, the lady went to visit a counselor to seek out happiness.

The counselor called over the old lady who cleaned the office floors.

The counselor then said to the rich lady "I'm going to ask Mary here to tell u how she found happiness. All I want u to do is listen to her."

So the old lady put down her broom and sat on a chair and told her story:

"Well, my husband died of malaria and three months later my only son was killed by a car. I had nobody. I had nothing left. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I never smiled at anyone, I even thought of taking my own life. Then one evening a little kitten followed me home from work. Somehow I felt sorry for that kitten. It was cold outside, so I decided to let the kitten in. I got some milk, and the kitten licked the plate clean. Then it purred and rubbed against my leg and, for the first time in months, I smiled.

Then I stopped to think, if helping a little kitten could make me smile, may be doing something for people could make me happy.

So, the next day I baked some biscuits and took them to a neighbor who was sick in bed.

Every day I tried to do something nice for someone. It made me so happy to see them happy.

Today, I don't know of anybody who sleeps and eats better than I do.
I've found happiness, by giving it to others."

When she heard this, the rich lady cried. She had everything that money could buy, but she had lost the things which money cannot buy.

"The beauty of life does not depend on how happy you are; but on how happy others can be because of you..."

Happiness is not a destination, it's a journey.

Happiness is not tomorrow, it is now.

Happiness is not dependency, it is a decision.

Happiness is what you are, not what you have...